Matt "Madman" Gilman (iiimadmaniii) wrote,
Matt "Madman" Gilman

I'm so fucking lost. Years ago, just a few years ago the world was a complete 180. We were losing the war, the first leaks of torture came out and the media made prisoners of the protectors. Years later we have nearly a million leaks, without photographs but official documents and the same war has been going on. Now the government has fooled everybody with their wifi acceptability into letting it come and pass because next week we will elect another puppet on the inifinte string list for another tortorous four years. Meanwhile, the most cirrupt administration to ever 'run' this country walks freely because while the entire world burns in oil drenched flames, they all have a 40% increase in their salaries, moving the top 1% into the  top 3%, in the name of economical progress.
I couldn't get a job when I was 19-23 because businesses didn't want to hire me, to set me aside once I got selected to go off and fight this most accurately conspiracy theoretical war, which '..has never been a "war" ' since after the 'Mission Accomplised' banner hung. I joined a union because at least I would be forced to be given a chance, to prove myself and earn my keep. By working, and going to school, and paying dues I was promised work as long as work was going.
Three years later, I graduated the apprenticeship and to no avail or whatever I have nothing. I'm not just one in a bunch, but I am. The only promising job I am to get today is two part time fast food or minimum wage jobs because a non union company will not hire me because of the simple fact I'm a union member. I haven't had any customer retail service since I was in school and that's over twelve years ago. I can't get a job because I'm too young to be a victim of today's collapse-yet too old to start over again. I'm no better now than I was when I was in the Marines.

On top of that, my credit is shit. Why is it? I'll be completely open on this : Shay Gibson.
Yeah, I co-signed for her for a car. Well, before you go crazy on me, try thinking of when you were say 20. What did you know about credit and insurance and the future and all that? Yeah.. Well if you're as old as I am chances are you probably already have kids and 'grew up fast.' If so you need not read further unless you didn't snuff your nose. Bitch took the car and ran, and the fact she works in a collections agency herself she's been able to carry this 90/60/30 day numerous times late fee the entire time and no have the car repossessed. I just paid my car off - a 20k loan to my bank in less than 5 years and I can't even get a $500 credit card through them. I wonder why this hasn't been any topic in the news? If I could ever get another job though my fucking hall, or anywhere for that matter she is going to be sued for every penny I'll spend getting my credit wiped clean. Period.

Today I took a peacefully paced ride all the way up Rt 543 from Abingdon to some where way past North Harford. I intentionally drove crazy arund the turns in hopes to fly off the road and flip and smash into the creek. I haven't had thoughts like this in a very very long time. Now I can't afford to see a doc to put two and two together. I'm almost 27, in a relationship and am unemployed. I got laid off on October 13 of 2009, and have had three Ironwork jobs in the past year totalling about 6 weeks. I've drained my 10k plus savings to less than $500 not counting the laugh of unemployment every two weeks. I can't even afford a roll of paper towels without wondering if I can make the bill for my insurance.

Health insurance wants 186 a month so I can pay 25 for Diovan, or 30 for a doctors visit and free dental. Welp, looks like I'm part of the black toothed grin family now.

I can't get anything from welfare because I'm 26, and I made over 44k last year. I can't file for chapter 7 because I only have under 5,000 in debt.  TO BE CONT'D
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